I recently said “meaningful conversations or none” and I meant it. I don’t have time (energetically speaking) for boring smalltalk, or fake conversations that lack genuine intent. This first began with a core personality trait of mine—introversion. Most introverts in the world despise small talk and would much rather have deep, meaningful conversation. But I’ve realized something else when it comes to smalltalk, and that is that most people don’t really care. If you listen and observe to conversations around you, it is so common to ask someone “how are you?”. And what is the response? The response is usually, simply, “good, and you?”. But is this the truth? Are we really all good all of the time? And when we are asking others how they are, do we really mean it? I think we’ve succumbed to asking this question so that we can fast-forward through interactions with others, and most of the time there isn’t much genuine intent there. Hear me out though, I know sometimes there really is—and if you’re one of the few, kudos to you.
I’ve recently decided to remove myself from these types of conversations, hence the new motto and title of this blog post “meaningful conversations or none”. I’m not disengaging from these conversations, I’m choosing not to engage at all. And what am I finding? I’m hearing a lot of crickets and I’m okay with that.
I want to speak up—and challenge others to go deeper. Meaningful conversations energize my soul, and I know I’m not the only one. If you ask someone how they are, have some intention behind that question. Don’t just ask just to ask, ask only if you really truly care. And when someone asks you how you are, answer honestly. I think honesty is refreshing. We’re all fighting battles that may be unseen or unknown to the majority of those around us, even others that we are close to.
It’s okay to say that you’re tired, it’s okay to say that you’re anxious, it’s okay to say that you’re just okay.
If you’ve ever had a real conversation with me, you know I go zero to 100 with getting real deep and meaningful in record timing. And I’ve apologized about this in the moment several times. Why? I guess I’ve allowed myself to feel embarrassed by this. Maybe my tendency or need to always “go deep” was too much? Well, I don’t think it’s too much anymore. In fact, I think it’s refreshing and I think it’s needed.
I care about having meaning and purpose behind everything that I do, and this also goes for all conversations. So I challenge you to go deeper, to have more meaningful conversations with others. And if you don’t want to engage in smalltalk, or conversations that you know lack heart and true genuine intent, I say you don’t have to. For me, this is how I am standing up and challenging what’s become the norm.