I’ve written eight blog posts in 2024. This is the ninth. Honestly, I had thought the number was way less so I was surprised when I just counted them all. It’s been quite a year for me. And I felt like my voice was gone. I didn’t know what I wanted to write about or if I even wanted to write. I have put so much pressure on myself the past few years—creating grandiose goals, failing miserably at taking hardly any action toward those goals, and feeling super crummy in the process.
So I’ve gone quiet. I’ve forced myself to sit with my feelings, to meet myself where I am right now, and to ask myself deep questions about my hopes, dreams, purpose, and the meaning of it all for me in this current life. There’s been a lingering hope in the air for me lately, a slow little ember burning ever so slightly.
I’m still processing, unraveling, and growing—all at the same time. I’ve secretly been wanting to write for a few weeks now. I feel reconnected again to my soul and purpose. I haven’t been forcing anything or trying so hard to think about what I want to create, do, or write. Instead, I’ve been listening, choosing to be patient, and waiting. And it is in this stillness, this inner fight against myself that clarity found me.
Sometimes perfectionism and procrastination get the best of me. A lot more than sometimes. I tell myself that I must get it right, and if I don’t feel like I am doing just that, I seem to not do anything at all. I continue to change my website, my email newsletter, and everything that I do. I always chase the next best version, and although this isn’t all wrong or bad, it’s also not all right or good. Wrapping myself up in this too much, takes me away from doing the things that bring me pure joy, unattached to any outcomes at all.
To call yourself a Content Creator comes with the unspoken mentality that you must be on. You must create and produce. Discover and declare your chosen niche. Be very active on a blog, email newsletter, podcast, Facebook page, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and so on. I enjoy creating content for all of the various platforms as well as this blog and my email newsletter, but Imposter Syndrome creeps up often. I see myself holding back, and constantly stressing over what is my niche. Or what should my niche be? Do I have anything to offer the world?
I struggle with being multi-passionate. I’m a chameleon. I’ve got many different versions of myself, and I love them all. One great piece of advice I’ve gotten from Gary Vaynerchuk is about enjoying the process and not attaching ourselves to outcomes. Would it be super cool beans if I had 100,000 people on planet Earth that read my blog posts? Yes, of course. And if I don’t reach that milestone, is all of this for nothing? No, it’s not. Because every once in a while a blog post, a social media post, or something that I’ve shared resonates with someone. And it’s in these moments I remind myself that it’s all worth it.
Most importantly though, I do this because it brings me great joy. I love blogging. I still feel like I’m unearthing everything that I want to share, everything that I want to be and do. And I’m finally seeing the beauty in that.